Showing posts with label Me. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Me. Show all posts

First day of Hanukkah

He walks in the house with a "delivery" right before he needs to leave.... and says: "Happy Hanukkah"
And so I get an onion pizza with a garlic and Parmesan cheese and a 24 oz. Peppermint late. 

Ok I guess - its not the gift that it matters but the thought of it, right? BUT...

What does that say about me? 
a- I'm a crap food lover with a weird taste
b- Just go ahead and call it  **f a t**
c- My husband has no clue
d- All of the above =)

An American phobia? or...

am I the problem??? or just another lost in translation thing?

Well I don't like to “label” so using “Americans” is probably not fair, but honestly this is something I strongly feel from Americans in general, except the ones that have direct relationship with latinos of some sort and or my “hippie” American friends, Yes – most of Americans have a human contact phobia.

For the past 10 years living in Cincinnati I being trying to understand how saying “I love you” it's not a lie. Maybe there a big misunderstanding of my part of what that means. I learned that you love people that mean something to you. You love your mom, dad, kids, family in general and yet the one you are “in love” with. Yes you may love friends but yet not to have any contact or to misjudge the actual human contact – that “I love you” becomes a huge lie to me.

I love you is more like “I like you” or a “I like you sometimes” or even better “I like you (or what you are doing) right now” but not a true “I love you”

I'm sure no one cares - this is a total personal issue. I used to kiss everyone – just kiss kiss kiss because that is how I grew up – my culture is very touching and loving – we hug a lot, we touch a lot. But we only say I love you when we mean it. It's not something you say to everyone and all times. So when someone say I love you to me – it should have a meaning. A strong meaning....

Not that Americans don't mean what they say, I'm sure they mean something but LOVE?? Really?

Now when I look in your eyes, I turn my body towards you in order to listen to what you are saying to me, I hug and I kiss you – that just means I like your company, I like to talk to you, you are a good friend to me and I mean it. I love you – NO – NO!!!! Not being in love, like a couple – Now how is that we can say I love you left and right and yet not have a hug, a kiss or a nice conversation without being judged as being “In love with someone” ??? Or being “easy”, “hitting on someone” or whatever you call it! Why can't you touch, kiss and NOT be in love but if you give them any attention now OHHHH – YOU LIKE THEM (sexually speaking) =oP

All I can do is not change myself – yet I must adapt not to hurt people I care for. Totally getting lost in translation and culture on this one Im sure, but that is how I see it.

I hope it doesn't bother you because I will hug, I will kiss and I will touch. Doesn't mean Im coming down on you, but yes that is how I will show you that I care. Then if/when I say I love you its because I do love you, like that... ( or not... heheh) Confused yet?

App: Fail!

I love to blog because here I can spill my guts out, say whatever I wanna say and only whoever is interested will read. Also if it offends anyone I don't care – its about us – its about me and my family and what matters to me. If you don't like it don't log in! Don't read it! It's not like on facebook that you know it will be in their news feed rubbing it against their faces!

My only “thing” is that I don't like to write in English, I don't know how to express myself very well. Most of Brazilians will read in English but my American followers don't read in Portuguese – so yes, English is my language of choice. And I always wish I had a “personal writer” that would type while I speak!

Then - I got this new phone and there is an app – you speak to it and it will write it down for you! I was thinking – GREAT! Perfect -That is all I need! I will be just speaking to my phone and be able to blog way more often. I can literally do it as facebook and instead of writing I will speak and boom! Got it!

So excited and happy. Awesome awesome until.... I tried. So I said “This is so excited and happy to be able to just speak and blog it!” and this is what it came up:

“Hey, en savoir City ville about chat gitano”

                                                                      *** FAIL***
So guess what app Im deleting?!?!?!

Making a full of myself - once again!

Because you think that after almost 10 yrs here I would have a better Enlgish and not get lost in translation as often as I still do!
For about a week we being playing a game here trying to get the top score.
When you match so many pieces you get a dice. The most dices you have the better off you are, but at times you have non or 1....  So whenever I would get just one single dice Noah would say "you got a die" and I was getting so mad at him for saying die over and over again. (thinking he was saying die = dead!)
He insisted the "die" was another word for dice - it meant one single dice! And his teacher told him so!
At that point im not just mad he is saying "die" over and over again now he is making up stories! He is lieing!

I was pressuring him asking for him tot ell the truth and telling him "tomorrow 'm going to school and asking Mrs Miller if that is true!"

He was so upset and still insisting that that was true! When Dan got home from work - faster then I could I go:

"Soooo (with a very sarcastic tone) Noah told me Mrs. Miller use the word die instead of dice! Can you believe it? i'm gonna go talk to her tomorrow!"

Dan says : "that is right - a die is a single dice"

Surprised - chocked and embarrased I wuestion him over and over again and ask if he isn't joking or lieing and then I just had to admit to Noah i made a full of myself! Apologized and kissed him until he bagged me to stop! =/

Why bother?

I was so sore today and all I could think of was a hot tub; since that wasn't available I settled for a bath, got some very hot water in and a nice peppermint lavender bubbles to help me relax - I go in and remember that....
My tub sucks!!!
I have made a decision that my next house - if doesn't have a decent size tub where I can soak in my WHOLE body in - I may as well just have a shower! This little tub its such a teaser!

Lost in translation once again

So I hear tonite it's "toboggan night" at AWANA and I'm thinking to myself "how in the world are they having a dry toboggan?  Is not snowing and its too cold to have the kids wet! How?  Who's idea was that?" I go on wondering for quite a while.... Called Daniela, he didnt know either! We were like "hu?"
So a minute later I learned that toboggan is ALSO a winter hat - like a beanie!!!

I'm so happy I did figured it out before I sent my kids out wearing their swimming trunks or on their snow suits! LOL

What is Incompleteness?


I posted this on facebook and it was nice to get a couple e-mails/msgs from people telling me things that otherwise they wouldn't say!
I'm glad to hear from them - I'm working towards to do the same. Good or bad, you can be kind and deliver the msg!!! =) 

I learned about Incompleteness today. From the book:

Incompleteness is any undelivered emotional communication. 
Incompleteness is not limited to major events. It is an accumulation of undelivered communications, large or small, that have emotional value to you.Or in other words something you wish it was different, better or more.
Sometimes incompleteness is caused by our actions or nonactions. At times by circunstances outside our control.Sometimes is caused or exaggerated by others.
Sometimes we are afraid to say or we have been waiting for the right time that never comes. Sometimes that right time never comes, we forget, get sidetracked or a person die.
Being emotionally incomplete does not mean you are "bad" or defective, but that a variety of ciscuntansces, actions or nonactions have robbed you the opportunity to be complete.

I suffer from Incompleteness. Do you?
It is essential that we complete what is unfinished for us. And I encourage you that if heter is any incomplete emotions towards me you deliver it. Now is the perfect time! And i will do the same! 
Much love to you all my friends =o*

Midlife crisis?

So I decide I want to sell my Minivan and get a Jeep. 
Dan said I'm having a Midlife crisis. really????
I always liked Jeeps and I don't care for all the comforts in cars (In Brasil we don't have any "extras" in cars - I never had air conditioner, power windows, etc...)

It's not like I'm getting a Corvette  and deff better then a pink sports car! =D

















Sent from my BlackBerry device from Cincinnati Bell Wireless

Tasteful boudoir portrait

I had a wonderful time spending a day with Suzan Turner when she was in Cincinnati, visiting from Cali before she left to Spain, He had a great time, I can't help but wish she lived closer. We are so alike in so many ways! We even got to get a few pics! Here are a few of my pictures

Everything I think Haven is like

By Benjamin Golan

Benjamin was having a very hard time going to sleep the past two days, we being talking to him for the last hour or so trying to figure it out what’s going on in that little head and I think he finally broke it down.



The poor little boy misses his Vovo Celso! *Sign*  His lil heart is acheing and this won't be the first or the last time that I feel helpless =(

Seeing Vovo Fatima makes him think about Vovo Celso a lot. He is very upset to even think she’ll be living back to Brasil in August. He shared so many interesting things with me that I asked him to hang on while I grabbed my computer go register his ideas about heaven. Here they are:

Me: So Ben, tell me again what you just told me about heaven and vovo Celso so I can type it; ok?

Benjamin: Ok, I don’t remember all I said but I think I said Vovo Celso is in heaven having lots of fun, making new friends there because I’m sure that he is – I mean, having fun and making friends, you know???


I bet he can see outer space there too; because he is in the sky, and outer space is in the sky which is park of heaven and he is just so close to it right now! He is dead but you know – he is still alive in the Sky! He is with Jesus and God and having all kinds of fun and I hope he can write letters too.


I remember the day he left; he said goodbye to me, so I guess that is ok that he left. And you cried so much so dad took me to tia Dani’s house, because you were so sad. But you don’t have to be sad. It’s ok mom!


I miss him and I don’t understand why we just don’t get to see him and I don’t understand who I missed him going to heaven!?!!?!? How did he even got to fly all the way to the clouds and I missed it?

*pause*

B: When are we all going to die?

Me: Oh boy Benji – we reeeeeeally don’t want to talk about that! To die it’s not a bad think at all, but the people that don’t die with you just miss you very much – do you understand?

B: Yes

Me: So can we not talk OR think about this?

B: Yes. But can you still stay with me even after I sleep?

Me: I sure can love.

We kissed good night and just as I re-read this post and added the introduction to his words he was asleep!
Sweet dreams love of mine, this greatful mama is off to bed too!


200's is OVER & I'll NEVER go there again!

Ok so I did it!! =) And here is a picture to prove it! =) LOL
I sure don't feel it on my clothing or see it on my face but as soon as the scale tells me it's down, well I'll just have to believe it! =oP

I'm an idealist! Yes I'm

Idealists, as a temperament, are passionately concerned with personal growth and development. Idealists strive to discover who they are and how they can become their best possible self -- always this quest for self-knowledge and self-improvement drives their imagination. And they want to help others make the journey. Idealists are naturally drawn to working with people, and whether in education or counseling, in social services or personnel work, in journalism or the ministry, they are gifted at helping others find their way in life, often inspiring them to grow as individuals and to fulfill their potentials.


Idealists are sure that friendly cooperation is the best way for people to achieve their goals. Conflict and confrontation upset them because they seem to put up angry barriers between people. Idealists dream of creating harmonious, even caring personal relations, and they have a unique talent for helping people get along with each other and work together for the good of all. Such interpersonal harmony might be a romantic ideal, but then Idealists are incurable romantics who prefer to focus on what might be, rather than what is. The real, practical world is only a starting place for Idealists; they believe that life is filled with possibilities waiting to be realized, rich with meanings calling out to be understood. This idea of a mystical or spiritual dimension to life, the "not visible" or the "not yet" that can only be known through intuition or by a leap of faith, is far more important to Idealists than the world of material things.

Highly ethical in their actions, Idealists hold themselves to a strict standard of personal integrity. They must be true to themselves and to others, and they can be quite hard on themselves when they are dishonest, or when they are false or insincere. More often, however, Idealists are the very soul of kindness. Particularly in their personal relationships, Idealists are without question filled with love and good will. They believe in giving of themselves to help others; they cherish a few warm, sensitive friendships; they strive for a special rapport with their children; and in marriage they wish to find a "soulmate," someone with whom they can bond emotionally and spiritually, sharing their deepest feelings and their complex inner worlds.

Idealists are relatively rare, making up no more than 15 to 20 percent of the population. But their ability to inspire people with their enthusiasm and their idealism has given them influence far beyond their numbers

Idealists at Work
Idealists, as a temperament, are passionately concerned with personal growth and development. They are naturally drawn to working with people and are gifted with helping others find their way in life, often inspiring them to grow as individuals and to fulfill their potential both on, and off, the job.

Your attention is naturally drawn to the individual and collective needs, desires, and experiences of people in your environment. In your ideal job, you would be able to use your inner beliefs as a guide for empowering others. Though you are comfortable with leadership, you don’t like arbitrary hierarchies. You care deeply about people as people, and often feel that maintaining official role boundaries interferes unnecessarily with both communication and progress.

40 days Challenge Update

So it's being 30 days since I decided to take the Challenge from Dr. Pete and I must say it has being fun! (well - not the weight part of it)
So far I had 2 visits - The boys had a few more; 3 total, but I'm very comfortable with due to the situations! They even had become advocates and don't want me to drive to fast food not even just for an ice cream! Ben said "Remember mom? Its not healthy? IT's actually bad for you? We can just go to UDF instead" and that day we settled for fruit Popsicles.


Noah still asks often – at least 2 times a week if we can “peease mommy go to Wendy's and have a cheesebuger” it feels like he craves it! Benjamin does just fine. I tried making veggie burger at home, they eat them fine. It's being a very radical but awesome change for my family and I'm SO happy we finally took this step! =)
I'm please with the results!


On the weight – weeelll I haven't seeing much change there yet! My goal was 6 pounds in the 6 wks and all I got so far was 4 and I seem to be pretty stuck where I'm. I do not have motivation to exercise and still – even I'm not eating fast food I do eat way more than I should. Perhaps once this 40 days are over a new goal will be in place and that will be more affective to change my weight; but this far even with no big change I'm still glad my first goal it's being met this far! =)

No laughing matter – or gas

I had a dentist appointment today and yeah – he wouldn't give me the gas today – that made me mad!

“no – it's a smaoulll – smaoulll you kno?” (heavy Indian accent)


SMALL???? so why was I numb all the way up to my ears and even lost part of my vision on my left eye for 7 long freaking hours?
Now that it's over my mouth its so sore! I feel like he raped my gums!
So after today's appointment I'm convinced that my dentist is a butcher! Never going back there! That is for sure!

A note to self

For no good reason or without any explanation I feel like all the sudden I felt into this “unreal” life mode. Where I'm living waiting for something that is impossible to happen. ~Did that make any sense?


Like all the sudden I feel as if I'm living on a fairy tale and I'm waiting on the “big moment” to arrive and to the happy end.


Hey – don't take me wrong here, I'm happy and satisfied with life, it's just like I'm wondering and imagining all day this “parallel” story of life – or path or whatever you may wanna call it.


It's like I'm living as if I'm a 15 yrs old again full of dreams and wonders.

HELOOOOO! =P

Wake up girl - your life real, berry berry real and there's no fairy tale here! Miracles are happening daily and you are keeping your eyes shut for it!


~Snap out!~


Get back to real life because let me tell girly – ITS REAL! =) and it's good!
Anyways – that is all I wanted to say....

Ohhh the things I do when I'm bored

is what make me so fat!!!

YUMMIE LAVA CAKE! =)




Sent from my BlackBerry device from Cincinnati Bell Wireless

40 Days Challenge

My friend and Chiropractor Pete had a talk at his office this week along with other professionals. We started a 40 days challenge today. And I want to share a little what I set as a goal to myself!

Goal #1:
After a quick look on my bank statement I saw I had 5 purchases on different fast food places and all of those visits were at a drive-thru and most likely eaten in the car (and I bet there are a couple of cash/credit card visits within the past week too)

Last month just on my debit card I had 16 visits to a fast food restaurant. So pretty much every other day. (and I'm sure there's at least another 10 on Dan's credit card from times he brought home dinner)

So my goal for the this challenge it's to cut this number drastically. I know that most of the times when you “cut” something so radically most likely you will go back to it but I can't give myself the “room” to think this way. Not when it comes to fast food; because here it's not about favorite food, flavor, lack of time or anything else important – it's pure laziness.

So I would love to see this number a 0 in 40 days. It would make me extremely happy! However I think setting a goal of 4 (once a week) sounds very realistic to me.

And this one is not just for me but for my whole family! =) My mind goes on and on for hours thinking the numerous ideas for alternatives and I'm just excited to see it happening to us as a family!

This will be really hard on me (and me only not on the whole family – really) but I challenged because I KNOW I CAN DO IT! =) ~And because it is an issue in my life that needs to be addressed!

Goal #2
Since my first goal was not so personal I would like to set myself a goal as well. I weighted myself this morning before any meals, wearing my pjs and my number was 216 so over this 6 weeks I would love to see this number to drop to 210.

I don't want to overwhelm myself with all this new challenges so I won't necessarily have goals for workouts and or food intake. I will just do little changes everyday as the day fly by and who knows maybe just by sticking with no fast foods will bring me to goal #2 easier! =)

I have a pretty big list of other goals I want to achieve as well – but for now I must stick with these two and do it well and leave the other ones to the next 325 days of the year! =)

LapTopless

My lap top is officially dead - Isn't it sad to see this?
I'm not surprised! This LT has fallen at least 50 times, has survived Benjamin and Noah and their dirty hands, water spills and more!
And from all the people on Friday then dropped it and the screen cracked all over! Al least it happened with him not me! =))) hehehe
Now starting to save money to get a new one and looking for good deals. I sent my mom the netbook so I'm literally Laptopless for a little while!