Everything I think Haven is like

By Benjamin Golan

Benjamin was having a very hard time going to sleep the past two days, we being talking to him for the last hour or so trying to figure it out what’s going on in that little head and I think he finally broke it down.

The poor little boy misses his Vovo Celso! *Sign*  His lil heart is acheing and this won't be the first or the last time that I feel helpless =(

Seeing Vovo Fatima makes him think about Vovo Celso a lot. He is very upset to even think she’ll be living back to Brasil in August. He shared so many interesting things with me that I asked him to hang on while I grabbed my computer go register his ideas about heaven. Here they are:

Me: So Ben, tell me again what you just told me about heaven and vovo Celso so I can type it; ok?

Benjamin: Ok, I don’t remember all I said but I think I said Vovo Celso is in heaven having lots of fun, making new friends there because I’m sure that he is – I mean, having fun and making friends, you know???

I bet he can see outer space there too; because he is in the sky, and outer space is in the sky which is park of heaven and he is just so close to it right now! He is dead but you know – he is still alive in the Sky! He is with Jesus and God and having all kinds of fun and I hope he can write letters too.

I remember the day he left; he said goodbye to me, so I guess that is ok that he left. And you cried so much so dad took me to tia Dani’s house, because you were so sad. But you don’t have to be sad. It’s ok mom!

I miss him and I don’t understand why we just don’t get to see him and I don’t understand who I missed him going to heaven!?!!?!? How did he even got to fly all the way to the clouds and I missed it?


B: When are we all going to die?

Me: Oh boy Benji – we reeeeeeally don’t want to talk about that! To die it’s not a bad think at all, but the people that don’t die with you just miss you very much – do you understand?

B: Yes

Me: So can we not talk OR think about this?

B: Yes. But can you still stay with me even after I sleep?

Me: I sure can love.

We kissed good night and just as I re-read this post and added the introduction to his words he was asleep!
Sweet dreams love of mine, this greatful mama is off to bed too!


emiike said...

OMG Li... I had to take a break from reading to not cry over my computer. It's so great how a child's mind works. You're so blessed with your boys. -Erika

supermomdoesn'texist said...

That's just beautiful, Lilian! Heart-renching but so pure and real. Maybe it even made God cry?
One thing for sure, none of us understand death on this side of it but having a child's perspective on it is sooooooo sweet and enlightening...hope it helps you, too girl...