Unusually funny


Ben is not too much the funny guy but today he stricken 2 withing a hour!

Ben got very excited when he heard about gmail - He believed we made up g mail for Golan family LOL

And as much as this makes me sick of my stomach I can't help but laugh:

Ben: Mom, when I die will Noah be older?
Me: Oh Gosh Ben I don't want to talk about that
Ben: Ok - then so when "I pass away"...

The friend parent

I hate not being able to sleep, it's so annoying. I'm tired, my body is exhausted and I have a really hard and long week ahead, and I can't fall asleep. I'm sure its because of that, because of the fact I will be so busy and my mind can't stop wondering and planning and thinking and tomorrow my body will be the one exhausted and not able to function. Why don't we have a "on-off" button"? And how come can we be so rational yet not enought rational to sooth ourselves when our body needs and that is the freaking rational thing to do?!?!?!?!
Anyways, I figure the only thing I could do and not wake up the crew is to use the computer so I remember a couple things I wanted to blog about.

The fine line between being a parent and being a friend!!!
Ohhhh you always heard things like "but Jimmy's parents are cool, they let him do this, they let him do that." and turns out little Jimmy is one of the most annoying kids in the neighborhood and as much as you want to be a "cool" mom you don't want your child turning like Jimmy.

Well, there, right there is where I'm struggling right now as a mom. My mom was a very scary lady to me for most my life, everything I ever done was always hidden from her because she should always be so angry and have a strong opinion about thing I was never able to be her friend. My dad in the other hand would say "yes" before you even finished the question and boy was he loved? Yet I'm thankful for my mom because I know all the things I would of done or maybe not do it if both my parents were like dad!

So where do you draw a line? So far I'm a cool mom (shut up! They do so say my kids!) and I work hard on not letting things pass by, still parent but withou "scaring" them, without making they loose that open communication we have and being afraid of their punishment. 


Oh yeah. Punishment... 
That is the whole reason I even started thinking about this whole parenting thing, because when you punish your child, oh no there is no way of being a cool parent then. And I also get all paranoid like " If I send them to their room to be alone, they will connect that into being a punishment" or "If I make them read that will also always feel like a punishment" 
I feel like I was always full of little "traumas" if you even want to call that, but I have some strong weird memories as a child (I know, I'm weirder then usual) but I don't want my kids to have them, or at least I don't want to be the one to plant such seeds since a lot in life is inevitable.

So, long story short I have found the perfect punishment for my kids this weekend: a good run on the treadmill. 

Yes! A run!
They laugh so hard, they think it's the funniest thing in the whole world and they break a sweat... And they release a loooot of energy ( o yeah, because they are not walking they are RUNNING!!!) and they realize only 2 minutes went by when they are supposed to run 5,7 minutes based in their ages and by then they are still happy and smile soo looking forward for this to be done and they are done they are just too tired to even think how awful of a mom I'm and they don't even remember that was a punishment to start with ( which I'm still not sure if it's a good or bad thing). Im sure society find a way or two to explay how i can "scar" my kids in some way and i suuure hope that doesnt come to bite me in the butt and the kids turn out to hate any kind of phisical activity but for now that has being what's working over here!!!



Walking into my 6 year old teaching my 5 year old what's the difference between a fiction to a nonfiction book its just priceless
To start the new year on the funny side - Dan felt asleep in the couch, during a movie and Benjamin seriously asked me:
"Mom, are you gonna be strong enough to carry daddy to bed?"

Priceless

I overheard their conversation

bits and pieces of a serious conversation....
Ben said: "you don't need to worry about that, remember you can always sleep in recess"

Blah blah blah conversation goes on and he gets frustrated and he goes: "Oh I wish I was single"

Then I just HAD to interrupt and say "but baby, you are single, you are not married."

Ben: I mean a single son
Me: Single child?
Ben: I guess - You know what I mean, single son, single child.... **break** and yes not married

LOL

While this whole conversation happens Noah is singing in the background: "And all girls say Im pretty fly for a why guy!"

LOL!!! How can you live in this household and not smile??? =D

First day of Hanukkah

He walks in the house with a "delivery" right before he needs to leave.... and says: "Happy Hanukkah"
And so I get an onion pizza with a garlic and Parmesan cheese and a 24 oz. Peppermint late. 

Ok I guess - its not the gift that it matters but the thought of it, right? BUT...

What does that say about me? 
a- I'm a crap food lover with a weird taste
b- Just go ahead and call it  **f a t**
c- My husband has no clue
d- All of the above =)

An American phobia? or...

am I the problem??? or just another lost in translation thing?

Well I don't like to “label” so using “Americans” is probably not fair, but honestly this is something I strongly feel from Americans in general, except the ones that have direct relationship with latinos of some sort and or my “hippie” American friends, Yes – most of Americans have a human contact phobia.

For the past 10 years living in Cincinnati I being trying to understand how saying “I love you” it's not a lie. Maybe there a big misunderstanding of my part of what that means. I learned that you love people that mean something to you. You love your mom, dad, kids, family in general and yet the one you are “in love” with. Yes you may love friends but yet not to have any contact or to misjudge the actual human contact – that “I love you” becomes a huge lie to me.

I love you is more like “I like you” or a “I like you sometimes” or even better “I like you (or what you are doing) right now” but not a true “I love you”

I'm sure no one cares - this is a total personal issue. I used to kiss everyone – just kiss kiss kiss because that is how I grew up – my culture is very touching and loving – we hug a lot, we touch a lot. But we only say I love you when we mean it. It's not something you say to everyone and all times. So when someone say I love you to me – it should have a meaning. A strong meaning....

Not that Americans don't mean what they say, I'm sure they mean something but LOVE?? Really?

Now when I look in your eyes, I turn my body towards you in order to listen to what you are saying to me, I hug and I kiss you – that just means I like your company, I like to talk to you, you are a good friend to me and I mean it. I love you – NO – NO!!!! Not being in love, like a couple – Now how is that we can say I love you left and right and yet not have a hug, a kiss or a nice conversation without being judged as being “In love with someone” ??? Or being “easy”, “hitting on someone” or whatever you call it! Why can't you touch, kiss and NOT be in love but if you give them any attention now OHHHH – YOU LIKE THEM (sexually speaking) =oP

All I can do is not change myself – yet I must adapt not to hurt people I care for. Totally getting lost in translation and culture on this one Im sure, but that is how I see it.

I hope it doesn't bother you because I will hug, I will kiss and I will touch. Doesn't mean Im coming down on you, but yes that is how I will show you that I care. Then if/when I say I love you its because I do love you, like that... ( or not... heheh) Confused yet?

App: Fail!

I love to blog because here I can spill my guts out, say whatever I wanna say and only whoever is interested will read. Also if it offends anyone I don't care – its about us – its about me and my family and what matters to me. If you don't like it don't log in! Don't read it! It's not like on facebook that you know it will be in their news feed rubbing it against their faces!

My only “thing” is that I don't like to write in English, I don't know how to express myself very well. Most of Brazilians will read in English but my American followers don't read in Portuguese – so yes, English is my language of choice. And I always wish I had a “personal writer” that would type while I speak!

Then - I got this new phone and there is an app – you speak to it and it will write it down for you! I was thinking – GREAT! Perfect -That is all I need! I will be just speaking to my phone and be able to blog way more often. I can literally do it as facebook and instead of writing I will speak and boom! Got it!

So excited and happy. Awesome awesome until.... I tried. So I said “This is so excited and happy to be able to just speak and blog it!” and this is what it came up:

“Hey, en savoir City ville about chat gitano”

                                                                      *** FAIL***
So guess what app Im deleting?!?!?!

What kind do you like?

Noah: Im not brushing my teeth today – there is only spicy tooth paste
Me: Oh yeah the adult ones

N: yes – Colgate Total

M: Well use the strawberry one

N: Tom?? No I don't like that

M: Well – what about the little sample one?

N: Crest Scoop? No – also spicy too me! I need Aquafresh – I only like Aquafresh – the red, white and blue, remember? Can you please buy me Aquafresh!!!

The hard part on all this for me was to stay serious and not laugh and make him angry - for me, its just too cute!

Welcome to MY world....

Heard Thomas frustrated because he couldn't finish a level on the video game and Noah's anwer was

“Welcome to my world friend!”
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Noah walks in the house from school and asks what smells so good

Me: Broccoli rice for Mrs Elizabeth (93 yr old neighbor who's husband is very sick)
I'm glad smells good - I hope they like it

Noah: Me too - I love your rice mom, but it's either a love or hate it! =P


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I'm in love with Alexa Narvaez, today I was listening to her sing Home by Edward Sharpe and singing along; it didn't even crossed my mind Noah was paying attention until he says: "Isn't that great, mom???"
Me: What's that?
Noah: As long as we are together we are home! =D

We love Chinese Food!

We love our Sweet and Sour Chicken

Making a full of myself - once again!

Because you think that after almost 10 yrs here I would have a better Enlgish and not get lost in translation as often as I still do!
For about a week we being playing a game here trying to get the top score.
When you match so many pieces you get a dice. The most dices you have the better off you are, but at times you have non or 1....  So whenever I would get just one single dice Noah would say "you got a die" and I was getting so mad at him for saying die over and over again. (thinking he was saying die = dead!)
He insisted the "die" was another word for dice - it meant one single dice! And his teacher told him so!
At that point im not just mad he is saying "die" over and over again now he is making up stories! He is lieing!

I was pressuring him asking for him tot ell the truth and telling him "tomorrow 'm going to school and asking Mrs Miller if that is true!"

He was so upset and still insisting that that was true! When Dan got home from work - faster then I could I go:

"Soooo (with a very sarcastic tone) Noah told me Mrs. Miller use the word die instead of dice! Can you believe it? i'm gonna go talk to her tomorrow!"

Dan says : "that is right - a die is a single dice"

Surprised - chocked and embarrased I wuestion him over and over again and ask if he isn't joking or lieing and then I just had to admit to Noah i made a full of myself! Apologized and kissed him until he bagged me to stop! =/

Guess who?

After a long and exciting day Noah can't seem to fall asleep so I hear:

Mooooom, guess who is so hyper? Starts with an N and finishes with oah! O:-)

Ben has funny ones too!


Dad: did you know the average person seats 2 spiders a year while they sleep?
Benjamin; I'm glad I'm not one of those person!
_______________

While talking about something I can't remember - it came up the subject of making it better and Ben shares his idea of better:

-Better??? better? I will tell you whats better – better is you telling me a bed night story~
________________

I was singing a song to get them to do chores around the house and got questioned by Ben: How did you get so creative to steal song to use it to speak to me and Noah?!?!?
________________

Noah: Was I born the old fashion way?

Me: Not really baby, you came from a surgery - that is actually the new fashion way... you were so stubborn even before you were born

Noah: So whats the old fashion way to be born?

Me: Well the old fashion way is called "natural" but you were so stubbern I needed to have a surgery to have you!

Ben: I'm glad Im not a girl I wouldn't want to have a baby, it hurts! Was I born natural? how did it feel?

Me: Oh no baby, not at all - It's like pooping!

Ben: Yeah - I'm a natural poop! =)

My favorites from Noah this past few days

"Stay with me mommy! Stay with me!!!!"

"You said it mama!" (or whomever it is he is talking to)

"Tell me!" is all kinds of  diferent situations!

and more of his funny quotes....

Obi Wan Kenobi Jedi Master with his beard looks like Jesus
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Noah: I can see you crack!
Me: Stop looking
Noah: Stop bending over! Its impossible not to!
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Mom – do you know what break up means?
Means like you are not dating anymore – you broke up!  

~ Stay tuned for more quotes by this funny boy! what a blessing are these boys!!

When talking about my food....

Noah: I don't like this chicken – it has a familiar taste!

Me: Familiar? What does that mean?

Noah: It tastes bad!!!

Why bother?

I was so sore today and all I could think of was a hot tub; since that wasn't available I settled for a bath, got some very hot water in and a nice peppermint lavender bubbles to help me relax - I go in and remember that....
My tub sucks!!!
I have made a decision that my next house - if doesn't have a decent size tub where I can soak in my WHOLE body in - I may as well just have a shower! This little tub its such a teaser!

Orange belt!!!

Lost in translation once again

So I hear tonite it's "toboggan night" at AWANA and I'm thinking to myself "how in the world are they having a dry toboggan?  Is not snowing and its too cold to have the kids wet! How?  Who's idea was that?" I go on wondering for quite a while.... Called Daniela, he didnt know either! We were like "hu?"
So a minute later I learned that toboggan is ALSO a winter hat - like a beanie!!!

I'm so happy I did figured it out before I sent my kids out wearing their swimming trunks or on their snow suits! LOL