An American phobia? or...

am I the problem??? or just another lost in translation thing?

Well I don't like to “label” so using “Americans” is probably not fair, but honestly this is something I strongly feel from Americans in general, except the ones that have direct relationship with latinos of some sort and or my “hippie” American friends, Yes – most of Americans have a human contact phobia.

For the past 10 years living in Cincinnati I being trying to understand how saying “I love you” it's not a lie. Maybe there a big misunderstanding of my part of what that means. I learned that you love people that mean something to you. You love your mom, dad, kids, family in general and yet the one you are “in love” with. Yes you may love friends but yet not to have any contact or to misjudge the actual human contact – that “I love you” becomes a huge lie to me.

I love you is more like “I like you” or a “I like you sometimes” or even better “I like you (or what you are doing) right now” but not a true “I love you”

I'm sure no one cares - this is a total personal issue. I used to kiss everyone – just kiss kiss kiss because that is how I grew up – my culture is very touching and loving – we hug a lot, we touch a lot. But we only say I love you when we mean it. It's not something you say to everyone and all times. So when someone say I love you to me – it should have a meaning. A strong meaning....

Not that Americans don't mean what they say, I'm sure they mean something but LOVE?? Really?

Now when I look in your eyes, I turn my body towards you in order to listen to what you are saying to me, I hug and I kiss you – that just means I like your company, I like to talk to you, you are a good friend to me and I mean it. I love you – NO – NO!!!! Not being in love, like a couple – Now how is that we can say I love you left and right and yet not have a hug, a kiss or a nice conversation without being judged as being “In love with someone” ??? Or being “easy”, “hitting on someone” or whatever you call it! Why can't you touch, kiss and NOT be in love but if you give them any attention now OHHHH – YOU LIKE THEM (sexually speaking) =oP

All I can do is not change myself – yet I must adapt not to hurt people I care for. Totally getting lost in translation and culture on this one Im sure, but that is how I see it.

I hope it doesn't bother you because I will hug, I will kiss and I will touch. Doesn't mean Im coming down on you, but yes that is how I will show you that I care. Then if/when I say I love you its because I do love you, like that... ( or not... heheh) Confused yet?